“Don’t blink. Don’t even
blink! Blink and you die… Don’t turn your back—don’t look away—and DON’T BLINK!
Good luck.”
-Doctor Who, Steven Moffat
"Life moves pretty fast-. If you don't stop and look around once and a while, you could miss it." In the episode, Doctor Who says this to Sally Sparrow as a
warning against creatures that would kill her. The creatures can only move when
they are not being looked at, so his words—Don’t blink—are dire and absolutely
necessary for her to follow in order to save not only her and her friend, but
also the Doctor and his friend as well. No pressure…
But these words spoke to me on another level. “Don’t even
blink! You blink and you die…” Or in the words of Ferris Bueller: "Life moves pretty fast-. If you don't stop and look around once and a while, you could miss it." So now I look at my life and I
think, “How did I get to be 26?!... When did Scarlett grow into such a
beautiful, tender-hearted three year old?... And Liv is crawling??...” Don’t
blink is right.
This year has been rough for me and my girls (and my husband
too—let’s not forget him.) With both my husband and myself in school full-time
and us refusing to do outside childcare, we have been busy for sure. And
sometimes it feels like school has been my whole life!
That’s
when the guilt sets in. I know that I have had free time. I know that I have
had times for my girls. But selfishly, this year, I have spent most of that
time on myself, recuperating from my insane schedule. So Olivia is now 8 months
old and I look at her and I feel like I missed her tiny baby time—you know,
when all they do is sleep and snuggle? And now she’s roaming around the floor
like she owns the place! And Scarlett has been so understanding! She rally
misses all the time I used to spend with her—I know she does. But rarely have I
even heard her request to “Play with me!!” She’s been such a trooper. But it
really hasn’t been fair to them to have two parents that really can’t give them
the attention they deserve. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying they’ve been neglected
and that CPS should be called, but I am saying that I wish I had been more present
mentally…emotionally…
So,
today, I am taking my life back! And I am going to be part of my children’s! This
may seem convenient because I am done with school on Friday, but I am not
waiting until Friday. I am starting today. I put my life on hold no more. And I challenge anyone feeling the guilt of absentee-parent-ism
to do the same.
And
don’t miss a thing! Because suddenly you’re counting the candles on your birthday
cake and there are twice as many as last year—I swear! And suddenly your baby’s
outrunning you on the playground. And before you know it, it’s all over. So don’t
blink—don’t even blink. Blink and you die. Don’t
turn your back—don’t look away—and don’t
blink.
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